What I've Gained So Far Being Single in My Late 20's

May 17, 2017

I got into my first serious relationship at 21.  We took a "break" twice and ended it when I was 24.  Four months after the relationship ended, I jumped into another relationship where I lived with my then boyfriend for two years.  That relationship ended when I was 26.  I'm now 27 and will be 28 in September and have been single ever since.  There are many things I've gained though while being single.  After my last relationship ended, I began solely focusing on me.  I ended up changing my eating habits and adopted a healthier lifestyle.  I found a new hobby, which was running.  I needed to do something to clear my mind when life seemed too demanding and it has helped so much.  I completed my first 10k this past April and am planning to run a half-marathon in October.  My new hobby brings me so much enjoyment and peace of mind that I would have never imagined.  Being single has given me so much more confidence and self-esteem.  I only engage in things that gives me pleasure and it feels good not having to depend on anyone to bring me comfort.  It took some time getting used to bearing all my emotions alone, but I realized sometimes you must work through things on your own.  

The more time I spend alone, the more I am learning what I like and what I don't like in a partner and things in general.  I am also less likely to engage in things that do not serve me for the greater good.  Recently I also connected with a group of women that I would never thought would happen.  My friendship circle has expanded and I never knew how much I needed that sister-tribe in my life.  We are all at different stages in life, but we are constantly there cheering each other, supporting each other, and making each other laugh.  I also got even closer with another one of my friends and she's very supportive as well.  Being single has made me seek friendships and associations that would not have been the case had I stayed in a relationship.  I was always wrapped up in what my boyfriend was doing and hanging with him and his friends, that I did not realize I needed my own time to just enjoy the company of my girls.  It is so easy to get comfortable and stagnant while in a relationship that often you lack self-motivation to pursue your dreams and goals.  Right now, in my late 20's, my focus is trying to build for a greater future and work on myself so that I am whole enough to endure life's many obstacles and be the best partner whenever he comes around.

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  1. excellent read and very true. I just turned 28 and I am fresh off back to back 2-year relationships. Since then I've been focused on "feeding my soul" and have found tremendous joy in reconnecting with myself. Like you mentioned, there is an adjustment period; but once you get comfortable things begin to take off in ways you'd never imagine.

    1. It does take some adjustment. At times I crave championship and intamacy, but I'm also enjoying having peace of mind. It's crazy how you can easily lose yourself in a relationship, but I guess when you're whole that does not happen.

  2. I'm glad you've used this time to do positive things!